


1P Mode

by ShanaRHager



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Classic Mode with a twist, Gen, Smash 64 Era, Surprise Ending I Guess, We loved the 90s, What tier list
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-22 22:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9628868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShanaRHager/pseuds/ShanaRHager
Summary: In the first tournament, Luigi has been looked down upon as "the last place loser".  He's been considered the worst fighter on the roster.  Nobody thinks he'll last for long.  Can the man in green prove them all wrong by taking on Master Hand's single-player challenge?





	1. Prologue

The year was 1999.  Clinton was President and had just escaped impeachment.  Dot-coms were booming.  Personal computers were kind of bulky and took forever to boot up, and the operating system of choice was Windows 98.  Television enjoyed the debut of “The Sopranos”, “Family Guy”, “Futurama” and “SpongeBob SquarePants”, among others.  _The Matrix_ and _Fight Club_ had audiences engrossed in theaters.  Whenever you wanted to surf the Internet, you had to listen to weird sounds waiting for the dial-up connection to work its magic.  Cell phones resembled walkie-talkies and needed an antenna to catch a signal, and they only served one purpose, to make and to take calls.  There were no apps, iPhones, iPads, laptops or social networking sites.  And a brand-new affair was rocking Nintendo’s world—Super Smash Brothers!

              Consider, if you will, one of the 12 participants in this tournament, studying himself in the mirror.  His white shirt and hat really brought out his brown hair and suntanned skin, underscored by the dark green overalls completing the outfit.  He made his face go through a series of expressions, from a gentle, friendly smile, to a neutral face, to a solemn, determined expression, to a fierce, battle-ready look and finally to a look of complete and utter confidence.  He allowed his shoulders to roll back and his chin to lift slightly, defiance spiraling around him.  They said he was the worst fighter.  They called him “the last-place loser”.  They didn’t think he’d have a chance.  But they’d think differently after today.  Because today, he’d prove them all wrong.

              After staring down his reflection, Luigi nodded.  He liked the man looking back at him.

              “ _Sono pronto_.”


	2. Vs Link

              He jumped out of his Warp Pipe and into the land of Hyrule.  To be more specific, on the roof of Hyrule Castle.  For a moment, he surveyed the lovely landscape, from the majestic mountaintops and lush green hills to the small, puffy clouds and the purple and pink-tinged sky.

              A blonde elf was across from him, playing an ocarina.  Presently, he looked up and smiled.  “Welcome,” he said.

              “Hi, Link,” said Luigi.  The Hero of Time was one of Luigi’s _compadres_.  He closely identified him via a shared color, green, as well as their low positions (twelfth and eleventh) on that tier list.  They called themselves the Green Team, and they actually performed quite well in Team Battles.

              The two men in green exchanged friendly smiles as they advanced toward each other.  At the middle of the stage, Luigi stuck out a firm hand, which Link shook.  Then, Link unsheathed his Master Sword and did a quick flourish, which didn’t affect his opponent in the slightest.  Luigi’s expression hardened into a steadfast, steely gaze.  They might be close friends, but there was no way the plumber was going to go soft on him.  Only one man in green was going to win this round.

              “You ready?” Luigi asked softly.

              “Let’s do it,” said Link.

              “3…2…1…GO!”

              Link was the first to attack, with a slash combo of the Master Sword.  Luigi evaded most of them, found an opening and threw all of his might into a body shot.  This crumpled Link, but not for long.  He countered with his Spin Attack, sending his opponent onto an upper platform.  The sound of rushing wind entered Luigi’s ears as he threw fireballs at the elf and followed up with punches and kicks.  Next, he grabbed him, swung him around thrice, and tossed him into a small tornado on a higher platform.

              The twister flung Link into the air, but he used his Spin Attack to recover.  In the process, he took out a bomb and hurled it toward Luigi, who dodged.  The shockwave from the explosion, however, stunned him just enough for Link to rack up some hurt using his Master Sword.  Luigi’s power kick ended Link’s streak, and he took control with a frenzied flurry of punches.  He added on some more big-fisted punches, quick twirling uppercuts, aerial kicks, fireballs and spinning cyclone attacks.  Occasional items dropped from the sky, like crates, barrels and Beam Swords, and Luigi made sure to grab them before Link did, sometimes utilizing them and other times tossing them off the stage.  Link came at him with his bombs and boomerangs, knocking him this way and that and then switching back to sword attacks in the ensuing confusion.  He watched carefully for tornadoes so he could launch Luigi into them.  But it would take a lot more than boomerangs, bombs, swords and tornadoes to break this plumber down.

              Their battle was quickly becoming heated as they moved all around the stage.  Luigi was the first to lure his opponent into “the Tent”, where he unleashed a furious combo involving his strong throws, powerful attacks, the walls and the gazebo.  Link managed to escape and return the favor, and for two and a half minutes, the tide seesawed back and forth as the two fighters tore each other up in that section of the stage.  It was well-known, well-liked (and disliked) and often spelled victory for cunning Smashers.  Presently, the elf and the plumber gave it all they had, hollering as the heat got to them, Link with his signature “Hyaah!” and Luigi with his passionate exclamations.  They were equally determined to win and had just as much to prove.

              With one minute now remaining on the timer, Luigi and Link knew that they had to end this soon.  Gradually, they returned to the center of the stage, continuing to duke it out with maximum power.  Link stared straight into Luigi’s eyes and saw the lightning dancing in each pupil, the lightning giving thrust to his blows and the energy to go on despite the damage he’d taken.  Lightning continued to shoot through Luigi’s nerves, his bloodstream and the neurons in his brain as he pummeled away at Link and Link slashed away at him.  He threw back his head and shouted, louder, energetically.  The elf could see that his opponent was not going to walk quietly into the night.

              With thirty seconds left on the clock, Luigi decided that it was time to finish this with style.  Giving a mighty yell, he bounded forward, gathered up his strength, power and emotions, and—

              **PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!**

              The fiery uppercut smashed into Link, hurling him off the stage and high into the sky, where he tumbled for a few seconds before disappearing as a tiny star.

              “GAME SET!”

              “You fought well, Link,” said Luigi as he caught his breath.

              He sat against the wall and closed his eyes, resting for a bit.  He could hardly wait for the next match.

             


	3. Vs Yoshi Team

“Very well done, L.  Are you ready for your next test?”

              “Yes.”

              Luigi allowed the cold compress to linger for a few more seconds on his skin.  Link was a good friend, but the Master Sword hurt something fierce!  The plumber removed the compress and looked at the disembodied glove addressing him.  “I’m ready for anything you dish out at me,” he said, extremely serious.

              “Good to know.”  The giant glove handed Luigi a Gatorade and summoned a Warp Pipe for him.  “Just so you’ll know, you’ll be pitted against a horde.  Eighteen fighters.”

              Luigi took a swig of Gatorade.  “Oodles of fun,” he said before jumping into the Warp Pipe.

              He emerged on the vibrant Yoshi’s Island.  Colorful platforms and trees, smiling clouds, a happy-face heart and a golden sun.  Oh, yes—this place was very familiar to him, and he knew exactly who he was fighting against.

              Yoshi popped out into view, bouncing happily upon seeing his “mom”.  “Yoshi!” he squealed, nuzzling him.

              Luigi chuckled and rubbed Yoshi’s “sweet spot”.  “Nice to see you, too.”

              Seventeen more of Yoshi’s brethren soon appeared, all of them different colors—blue, pink, red, yellow and cyan.  “Yoshi, Yoshi!” they chattered, gathering around Luigi.

              After petting and tickling the members of the Yoshi team, it was time for the man in green to focus.  He looked the green Yoshi straight in the eye and said, “I know you’re going to hold back because of our bond, so don’t.  Give me everything you have, and I’ll return the favor.  Deal?”

              “Yoshi!”

              3…2…1…GO!

              The green Yoshi was the first to engage Luigi, aiming a kick toward his hip.  Luigi parried with his forearm and immediately struck back with a low foot jab, some quick up tilts and then a powerful punch.  He was shocked when the hit sent Yoshi beyond the blast line at such a low percentage.  Maybe his weight was tweaked a bit.

              He’d dwell on that later.  A yellow Yoshi confronted him, prepared to headbutt him.  But the man in green put a stop to that with a strong breakdance sweep, a flurry of punches and a bicycle kick, launching him off the stage.  Next, he met the blue Yoshi, accompanied by the pink Yoshi.  He vaulted and danced around them both, surprising them with swift attacks.  The two Yoshis managed to get him a few times, but Luigi was sure to rebound with a stronger hit.  They exchanged blows for a while before Luigi ended their encounter with a Cyclone.

              Now came a red, a cyan and another green Yoshi.  Luigi maintained an offensive position, getting in the first blow.  Red and Cyan licked out their tongues, trying to catch their opponent to lay as an egg, but he quickly slid out of range, hit them with some fireballs and nailed Green with a roundhouse kick.  Lunging forward, he headbutted Red, KO-ing him, and then swung Cyan around three times before hurling him away.

              Another yellow, another pink, another red, and another blue.  He noticed a crate, a Maxim Tomato, a Heart Container and a Hammer.  But he paid them no mind, choosing to use his bare hands to deal with the dinosaurs to whom he and Mario owed their lives.

              But that was another story.

              Yellow and Blue jumped and flutter-kicked rapidly, blindsiding their foe from above.  Luigi flip-kicked twice before unleashing a Super Jump Punch.  Cyan met him when he landed, swallowing him and then ejecting him inside an egg, which he then battered away at.  In time, Luigi escaped from the egg and punished with a big-fisted punch, defeating Cyan, before knocking Red away with the same attack.

              In the next breath, five Yoshis jumped him.  He was able to make out a few more blue and cyan and a green and a yellow.  A Cyclone scattered the five every which way, and as soon as Luigi picked himself up, he found himself face-to-face with the last four Yoshis.

              These four hung back and attacked one at a time.  Red went first, getting kicks and tail swipes in before Luigi subdued him with an aerial combo.  Second was Yellow, who was able to leave quite a mark on Luigi with his hard head attacks, but the plumber managed to come out on top with his down aerial to up-B combo.  Blue tried to use a dash attack and found himself in Luigi’s grip before getting flung off the stage.  Finally, Green slowly approached him, looking apologetic, before lashing his tail out at him.  Luigi dodged the tail sweeps, and after several solid blows to the flank, ended the battle with his enlarged fist punch.

              GAME SET!

              Luigi ate a Maxim Tomato and drank the last of his Gatorade.  “Yoshi Rainbow Bonus, eh?” he mused.  “I’ll take it.”

              A Warp Pipe returned him to the waiting station, where he greeted the giant glove with eager, twinkling eyes.  “Onto the next stage,” he said, freshening himself up with deodorant and cologne.

 


	4. Vs Fox

              “Now that you’ve rested up,” said the glove, “here is your third opponent.  A one-on-one this time.”

              “Take me there,” Luigi commanded.

              “As you wish.”

              The Warp Pipe transported Luigi to the top of the Great Fox.  The starship was slowly moving through space, crossing stars, nebulae and the occasional Arwing fighter.   This could only mean one thing…

              “Ready to fight, L?”

              Luigi turned and found himself face-to-face with Fox McCloud, leader of the Star Fox team.  The vulpine was clad in his dark green shirt, silver pants and silver jacket, a Blaster slung onto his hip.  He also had a Reflector clipped to his belt.

              “I was about to ask you the same thing,” Luigi told him, closing the distance between them, “but the answer is a definite ‘yes’.”

              “So feisty,” demurred Fox.  “I’m definitely not going to forget this battle.”

              “No, you won’t.  I’ll make sure of that,” promised Luigi, his voice deceptively soft as fire sparkled along his gloved fingers.

              Fox hesitated.  Luigi’s voice was in his ear, his nose nearly touching his snout.

              “I’d keep an eye on those handy-dandy gizmos of yours if I were you,” Luigi continued.

              “I keep them on my person at all times.  No way I’ll lose them,” crowed Fox, “but I don’t think it’s _my_ arsenal you should be worried about.”

              “If you think I’m understocked, then that’s a big mistake on your part,” said Luigi.  He then drew the vulpine closer to him and spoke straight into his ear.  “I may not have any fancy weapons, but your fancy weapons are no match for what I _do_ have.  Hope.  Confidence.  Strength.  Courage.  You think you’re everything just because of some ranking on a piece of paper?  Think again.”

              “You’re really riling me up, L,” smiled Fox, “but I really can’t believe you until we’re actually in battle.  So do me a huge favor and _show_ me.”

              “On one condition—you provide more than just your fancy gadgets to the table.”

              “We have a deal.”

              Luigi’s hand grasped Fox’s paw, and they shook.

              “Good luck, L.  You’ll need it.”

              “Not as much as _you_.”

              3…2…1…GO!

              Luigi got right down to business with strong punches to Fox’s midsection, a breakdance sweep and a flurry of aerial attacks.  He wasted no time getting his opponent to the stern of the Great Fox, behind the wing, where he could really go to work on Fox with those combos.  Fox did his best to defend himself, but Luigi seemed to be everywhere at once.  Exclamations echoed across the void of space, and fierce, blue eyes seemed to strip Fox bare.

              As a pilot and a leader, Fox never went back on his word.  He used his Blaster, his FireFox and his Reflector to get back onto safe ground, but once that was accomplished, he switched to punches and kicks.  In a lot of his missions, he had to rely on hand-to-hand combat.  His old man, the dearly departed James, had taught him some martial arts skills when he was a pup.  Besides, what if he was in a situation where he couldn’t get to his weapons?

              Now that Fox had leveled the playing field, he commenced to put on a one-man demonstration of what his lithe and agile body could do.  Most of his attacks consisted of kicks.  Split kicks, spinning kicks, flip kicks and forward kicks.  These kicks, along with fast sweeps of his fuzzy tail, could really fling Luigi around as much as his throws.  They maneuvered about the bow and the middle section of the starship, getting closer and closer in as their blood really circulated through their veins.  Though Fox was a good kicker, he wasn’t much of a puncher, so most of the time, he left his face and upper body unprotected.  Those areas were the primary targets of Luigi’s blows.  His favorites here were his forward smash, dash attack, all of his aerials, his down-B and his up-B.  His fireballs were next to useless, since they could be reflected.  But he sure made Fox catch some air with his back throw.

              Very often, Fox would peck away at Luigi with his Blaster, the plumber barely feeling its shots.  Or an Arwing or two would speed past, firing lasers.  Both parties were quick to notice this and wasted no time knocking or throwing each other into an Arwing’s trajectory.  There were even times when they’d stand atop an Arwing and fiercely engage one another, only to jump off before the vehicle flew off the stage.  Then, Luigi would kick Fox squarely in the face, and it would all begin again.  The man in green would attempt to force Fox back to the rear engines of the Great Fox, and Fox would try to stop him.  But it grew to the point when Fox started giving his challenger a taste of his own medicine.  The fight moved from bow to stern to Arwing and back again, and both sides didn’t want to stop whaling away at the other anytime soon.  Covered in bruises, lathered in sweat, even bleeding in some areas, and yet they pressed harder and harder, forcing the opponent into many a disadvantageous situation.

              Fox was a fast fighter, and he sure didn’t get the number 4 spot on the tier list just for his good looks.  But Luigi could care less about said tier list; he could be fast, too!  Seeing Fox jerk up his Blaster, Luigi deftly kicked it out of his hands and sent it skittering from the stage.  While the vulpine stood in shock, Luigi landed some more body blows, cracking the Reflector in the process.

              “You know, Slippy can fix those right back up,” warned Fox.

              “Let him,” replied Luigi.

              Now on the top wing of the Great Fox, the two were almost in a frenzy, hacking away at one another with brutal strikes and talking to each other with their eyes.  Time was running out, and both of them knew it.  Still, it wouldn’t hurt to rack up some more damage before landing the finishing blow.

              Fox thought he had Luigi when he did his up smash, but the plumber was able to come to his senses and surprise the mercenary leader.  He bent him over with one last punch, grabbed him, swung him around thrice and hurled him with the power he had left.  This was the final straw for Fox, who was sent beyond the blast line.

              GAME SET!

              “That was electrifying,” murmured Luigi.

              Leaning back against the Arwing, Luigi took a brief moment to reflect on his relationship with Fox.  The vulpine was cordial during the first few days, and the plumber admired him for the respect, caring and devotion he showed to the Star Fox crew.  But along came that tier list, and Fox’s number four ranking gave him not only popularity but also pride.  He was invited to social functions and galas along with the S tiers.  But then, he proceeded to take verbal swings and pokes at the lower tiers, and since Luigi was at the very bottom—

              His breath came a little fast as he recalled the times Fox scoffed at him, talked down to him and looked at him down the length of his nose, all because of that Godforsaken list.  Hopefully, he’d learn something from his defeat today.

              The glove was there, with a cool, damp towel and a bottle of ICE sparkling water.

              “I think it’s time we take a little break from the fighting,” said the glove as Luigi enjoyed the towel on his sweaty face.  “What do you say to a Bonus Stage?”

             

 


	5. Break the Targets!

              “Bonus Stage, huh?” Luigi quirked an eyebrow at the glove.

              “Remember, this isn’t all about fighting,” said the glove.  “These matches are just going to get more intense.  And if you don’t clear this stage, it won’t be counted against you.”

              “Wonderful,” said Luigi.  “So, what kind of Bonus Stage are we going for here?”

              “Well, I suppose maybe you’d like to break some targets?”

              “I—guess.”

              “Break the Targets it is!” the glove said joyfully, scooping up Luigi and depositing him on a stage with targets floating everywhere.

              “ _Mio Dio_ …”

              The glove smiled at him, if such a feat was possible.  “You have two minutes to break all of these targets.  You may use all of your moves.  Are you ready?”

              “Yes.”

              “GO!!”

              Luigi saw a target above him and destroyed it with an aerial attack.  He spun around and claimed some other easy access targets.  One target was higher up, so he used his Super Jump Punch to break that one.  Now, he began to run through the course, jumping onto orange-and-black walls and blue constructs, taking out any target in his path.  He skidded to a halt at the right edge of a blue construct.  There was a target in the trajectory of the steep drop.  Breathing deeply, Luigi allowed himself to fall.

              Approaching the target, Luigi timed things carefully so that his Super Jump Punch broke the target and recovered him to the stripe wall slightly above.  He found himself back at the starting area, which he sprinted across before hopping onto a small ledge.  A pair of targets awaited him, which he snagged in a jiffy.  Next, he dropped once again, aiming a fireball at the target to the left, plus another one at the target beyond the striped wall.

              Now, Luigi was on a small, moving platform.  Gently, it moved him over to the last target.  As soon as the platform reached its destination, Luigi jumped up and smashed the target with one good blow.

              “COMPLETE!”

              Back in the waiting station, Luigi noshed on a 6-inch Subway sandwich and slurped down a smoothie.

              “Good job on those bonus points, L,” said the glove.

              “Thank you,” said Luigi.

              “Now, this next match is a Team Battle,” the glove told him, “and as such, I have selected a teammate for you.”

              As if on cue, Yoshi entered the waiting station.

              “Quite fitting in regards to your bond,” smiled the glove.

              “Hello again, Yoshi,” said Luigi.  “Are you ready to take on our opponents?”

              “Yoshi!”

              Luigi then faced the glove, all business.  “Let’s do this.”


	6. Vs Mario Bros

              Upon arrival at Peach’s Castle, Luigi nearly lost his marbles.  He could swear he felt a vein explode in his temple as he took in the scene before him.

              Mario, his brilliant, loving, older brother, smiling and cozying up to some _doppelganger_ trying to mimic his appearance.  Almost a carbon copy of the real McCoy, except that it wasn’t really him.  Same height, same build, same hairdo and everything—but not actually him!  And now he had slithered his way into Mario’s good graces!  Had he sweet-talked a slice of cake from Peach, as well?  Luigi had no idea where this clone came from, but he was going to send him back there.

              “Yoshi,” his ally whispered to him, calming him, focusing him.  Luigi nodded, breathing in a curious rhythm, his mind still seared by the false him, duplicitous eyes shining with false affection towards _his_ brother, giving him the looks _he_ gave him and hugging him the way _he_ hugged him.  This just had to be the work of that mysterious, unpredictable glove!

              But how come Mario didn’t suspect anything?  That thought packed more of a punch than anything.

              Mario turned then, his mouth flying open at the sight of the real deal.  The classic hand-in-the-cookie-jar look took over his face.  His eyes flew from one Luigi to the other, questioning what was going on and why.  The false Luigi stood there, looking shameless.

              Slowly but surely, it dawned on Mario how he’d been deceived, how he’d easily fallen for it, and how he deeply hurt his brother—his _real_ brother—the only man he could ever dance with and the best partner a guy could have.

              The two teams stood facing one another, an infuriatingly sweet smile on the false Luigi’s face.  Handshakes and a brofist were exchanged, and then a powerful gaze between two brothers which said everything but not really.

              Yoshi decided to take the heat off his teammate and “mom” and confronted the false Luigi, knowing that he’d hold an emotional advantage over the real McCoy.  Meanwhile, the real Luigi was left with Mario, to get some answers and to talk things out.

              “Bro—it’s you,” Mario breathed, still in awe over the big switcheroo.  “I mean, the _real_ you.”

              “Yep,” said Luigi, nonchalantly.  “Surprised?”

              “If I can’t find a better term, yes.”

              Mario felt that familiar pull which was strangely absent a while ago.  Yup, he’d been jinxed.  He tilted his head up so that his eyes could roam over the deeper blues of his brother’s.  With each deep breath he heard, all of Luigi’s emotions were channeled into Mario’s blood, a warm, tingly feeling made itself known in his chest and he found himself drawn closer to him.

              “I—I admit it, Bro.  That impersonator got me good.  He put on such an act…”

              He heaved a sigh, guilt feeling him as he inhaled his younger brother’s scent.  Luigi’s eyes sparkled, his nostrils breathing in his big bro’s essence, a sudden outpouring of love and devotion threatening to overtake him.  He almost felt bad about having to fight him.  _Dio_ , there were so many things he wanted to say to the red-capped guy holding his gaze, so many ways he wanted to express the deep and tender love he felt for Mario—and at the same time, envious that he was held in higher regard in Smash as well as in life and stung that a potentially dangerous look-alike could play him so well.

              In a soft voice, Luigi posed the question.  “How—how could you just blindly trust someone who looked like me—but wasn’t me?”  He felt his eyes moisten.  “How could you let Peach near him?  For all I care, he could’ve been a pawn in a dangerous scheme to—to…”

              “I get it,” Mario broke in, putting a hand on Luigi’s shoulder.

              Luigi reached up, slipped a gentle hand under Mario’s cap and began ruffling his brown hair.  “You should’ve known he wasn’t me,” he whispered.  “You should’ve sensed something off.”

              “I—thought you were in one of your moods,” explained Mario, eyes also welling up.  “I noticed behavior that wasn’t really you, and—I thought I was to blame.  Because, you know, of _that_ side of our relationship and that you don’t get recognized as much as I do.  I bet he really milked that dry.”

              “So you _did_ notice something off.”

              “Yeah, but I just chalked it up to our little moments of tension.  Look, Bro, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.  I’m sorry I haven’t given you as much credit as I should.  But I’m going to make that up to you.  I’m going to rectify certain inequities.”

              Luigi chuckled and lightly massaged Mario’s scalp with his fingertips.  “I’m sure you will, but that’s for another time,” he said.  “Right now, though…”  His voice was charged with excitement as he trailed his hand down Mario’s face and stroked his cheek like a child.  “…right now, only one team will move on to the next battle, and it just so happens that you and I are on opposing teams.”

              “Ah.  Of course.”  Mario toyed with the bangs on the back of Luigi’s neck.

              “We both know that it’s my turn to win,” murmured Luigi.  “My turn to have a chance for once.”

              “Well,” Mario said playfully.  “We’ll see about that, won’t we?”

              Luigi pulled his big bro in for a powerful hug.  “No way I’m making this easy for you, Bro,” he said breathily. 

              They enjoyed the pleasurable contact of being in each other’s arms before they were forced to separate to begin the battle.

              3…2…1…GO!

              On the main platform of the stage, Luigi and Mario were at it.  They loved each other fiercely and always would, but the tight, competitive side of their relationship started to come out.  The elder, especially, had a lot to answer for after giving affections to a clone.  And the younger had a lot of tension to release from his system.  What better way than to skirmish with his big brother?

              Above them, a pesky bumper floated, ready to deflect fighters and possibly send them hurtling earthward.  On the sides of the castle extended a walkway, constantly moving back and forth so that an unsuspecting combatant would find themselves on air if not careful.  The brothers would knock each other into the bumper or stall the other on the walkway as it receded in the other direction.  But most of the time, they occupied the main area, hungrily assailing the other.

              These brothers were almost identical; in fact, Luigi was considered Mario’s inferior clone.  They exchanged the same or similar attacks, and they could easily mimic or read their opponent.  Despite the similarities, there were several key differences.  Luigi’s higher jump height, for example, as well as a slower running speed, lower traction, taller stature, different taunts and victory poses, a different dash attack and different damage outputs for some of his moves.  Most of all, though, his Super Jump Punch had this nice little spot which turned a weak punch into one wowza of an uppercut.  If he could get into position to deliver one of these, then the match was his.

              Luigi was also on a mission to prove that he could be number one as well as his brother.

              Fully engaged with each other, the Bros didn’t notice Yoshi serving up some retribution to the false Luigi, trapping him in an egg, battering him all over, and repeating.  There was no love lost between those two, that was for sure.  But the clone was really aggressive and had managed to deal some good ones to the green dino in between being captured in a spotted egg.  Yoshi was furious.  Would you blame him?  His opponent was making mockery of the guy who’d nurtured him since he hatched from an egg!  That being said, he felt no guilt over the ugly bruises clustered all over the clone’s body, or exhaustion and pain beginning to cloud over his eyes.  He could clone someone else, but never his mommy!

              The clash between the real deal and Mario, however, remained center stage, in every sense of the word.  Identical pairs of blue eyes flared into faces as identical pairs of gloved fists went hard at any opening they could find.  Their voices floated together as they grunted and shouted.  Concentration saturated their breaths as their lungs took deep pulls of oxygen.  Nothing else mattered—they were just two brothers having a friendly fight.  With their similar-but-different fighting styles, there was no clear advantage—at least, not yet.  But in the center of Luigi’s steadily dilating pupils, Mario saw primal determination.  And he knew that despite being technically “better” in the tournament, even he couldn’t hinder his younger brother’s ambitions.

              Sweat dripped into Mario’s mouth, and he savored the salty taste on his tongue.  He saw Luigi glide his tongue in a graceful motion across his lips, and then back again.  Both were plastered all over with sweat, the smells of their perspiration mixing together as they went nose-to-nose, practically falling headlong into each other’s eyes.  Luigi lightly rubbed his thumb over a bruise on Mario’s jaw, biting his lip in remorse.  Despite the complexities of their relationship, Luigi hated seeing Mario hurt, especially on his account.  As the younger brother assessed the damage done to the elder, his eyes softened, just for a moment.  He twirled one of Mario’s sweaty locks round his index finger.

              “I’m okay,” whispered Mario.  “I’m okay.”

              “Don’t take this personally, Bro,” entreated Luigi.  “I have to win this.”

              “If you don’t, I’ll still love you,” Mario said softly.

              “Yeah, but the rest of them need to understand something.  I’m nobody to toss aside just because of a piece of paper.”

              “You can’t let that piece of paper get to you,” counseled Mario.

              “How can’t I when _others_ are using it as an excuse to dump on me?” challenged Luigi.

              A scream caught their attention.  Yoshi had just sent the false Luigi reeling toward them.  Thinking quickly, the real Luigi did a very painful uppercut, rendering his clone down for the count.

              “Yoshi!”  The dino thanked his teammate.

              “I sort of wanted the pleasure of landing the finishing blow,” Luigi told him.

              He turned back to Mario.  “Now, where were we?”

              They re-engaged each other as Yoshi eagerly and nervously looked on.

              The more damage they took, the more relentless they became, but Luigi couldn’t stop Mario’s little interjections of pain from hitting a nerve.  They were more than brothers.  They were a team, so good together, and just as good going against each other.  Both of their strengths and weaknesses were showcased.  Both of them had their power displayed.  Both of them proved themselves as worthy protectors.  But Luigi was out to cash a check, so to speak, of funds owed him over the last sixteen years.  And that check was going to be accepted.

              As the clock ticked down, the Bros continued to deplete their energy sources until every nerve in their bodies screamed at them to put a lid on it.  That wasn’t going to happen, especially in Luigi’s case.  The little bro had to prove that he wasn’t so little anymore.

              Finally, at the last possible second, the outcome of the match was decided by one strategic blow—Luigi’s Super Jump Punch!

              Mario wailed as his brother’s uppercut Star KO’d him.

              GAME SET!

              “He’ll get over it,” Luigi reassured himself and his ally.

              They parted ways at the waiting station, where the plumber greeted the glove with a cool stare.  “Mind explaining what I saw back there?” he asked.

              “I—just wanted to see how you would do against you.  I admit that I didn’t expect Mario to buy his act hook, line and sinker.”

              “He did,” Luigi said to him, “but we’ll discuss that later.”

              “That was one sweet win over your bro, though,” said the glove.

              “You’re just trying to butter me up,” said Luigi, “and it’s actually working.”

              “I mean that, L.  If you can win over Mario, imagine who else you can overcome.”

              Luigi blushed.  “We’re still not finished with this conversation,” he said.

              The glove chuckled and left Luigi to enjoy a slice of deep dish pizza as he recovered from the match.

             

               

             

             

             


	7. Vs Pikachu

              Fifteen minutes later, Luigi’s break was over.  The glove floated in to find the plumber quietly seated on the floor, eyes closed, breaths deep and focused.  He appeared to be—sparkling.  Tiny, barely visible light green pulses trickled along his body, dramatized by his white shirt and hat.  His hands were in his lap, gently clenching and unclenching.  The glove could tell that he’d attended to his brown hair in the interval, framing his face like the perfect picture.  That post-exertion glow blended with the slight suntan on his skin.  Sitting there, he looked quite handsome and quite motivated.

              His lips parted, and he was soon breathing through his mouth as he retreated deeper into his thoughts.  Now, his core pulsed lightly with his breaths, breaths with grew faster and faster.  They sounded aggressive, even angry.  Sitting there, Luigi willed the pace of his breathing to slow, only for it to kick back up again.  There was so much going on within him, and he needed to get it all in order.

              _“Look at that bottom-tier trash!  He calls himself a fighter?”_

_“What kind of Smasher is he?”_

_“He’s freaking useless!  Send him back where he came from!”_

_“BOOOOO!”_

_“Hissssssss!”_

_“You suck!”_

              Luigi’s eyes closed even tighter, hands in his lap clenched to the point they were sweating.  Every muscle in his body tensed as a tongue of fiery anger licked up his being.  The audience.  The perfidious, self-righteous audience with the Maxim tomatoes and other junk and cruel words they hurled at him when he was engaged in battle and even after he won.  Ironically, they were the reason why he gave each match his all.  They were the reason why he dragged himself out of bed early in the morning to hog the Training Room.  And they were the reason why he was here today.  One final time, he slowed his breaths and willed the anger to dissipate.  In through the nose, and out through the mouth.  Five seconds breathing in, five seconds holding it, and five seconds breathing out.  He concentrated on his lungs and his abdomen and his chest and his diaphragm, trying to breathe through his stomach rather than his chest.  He felt better already.

              Slowly, the giant glove floated closer to Luigi until he was a meter away, smelling freshly applied cologne and deodorant.  The man’s core still pulsed, but not as aggressively.  An angry flush on his face gave way to a calm glow, though the green sparkles still danced about his body. 

Gently, the tapped Luigi’s shoulder with his index finger.  “L,” he whispered.  “Time to come back.”

              Luigi frowned lightly as he willed himself back to Earth.  “Hmm?”

              “Sleepy-time’s over,” said the glove.  “Your next opponent is waiting for you.”

              “And what stunt did you pull this time?” Luigi asked quietly.

              “No stunts, I promise.  Just a one-on-one match.”

              Luigi got up, controlled emotion and energy in his eyes.  “I’m going to hold you to that.”

              “What were you thinking about back there?” asked the glove.

              “A lot of things,” replied Luigi.  “Leave it at that.”

              Accepting an ice-cold sports drink from the glove, Luigi approached the Warp Pipe, but before he leaped in—

              “I hope you dreamed up a good explanation to Mario for earlier.”

              And then he was gone.

              A cheery “Pika!” greeted Luigi when the Warp Pipe ejected him at Saffron City.  The stage encompassed the roofs of several skyscrapers, one of which had a little garage hidden by a door.  Standing atop the hidden garage was the adorable Electric Mouse-type Pokémon, Pikachu.

              “Pika, pika, pi!” Pikachu called to his opponent, waving happily.

              “Hi, Pikachu,” said Luigi.  “How’s Ash?”

              “Pi,” shrugged Pikachu.

              “Are you sure you have enough electricity to handle me?”

              “Pika!” squealed Pikachu, briefly rolling on the ground.

              “You are so cute,” Luigi told him.

              Pikachu’s already red cheeks reddened further.

              “Pika?” asked the electric mouse.

              “Am I ready to battle?  You bet I am,” said Luigi.  “How about you?”

              “Pika-pika-pika-pi!”

              Pikachu scurried over to meet Luigi in the center of the stage.  An eager paw grabbed a gloved hand, and they shook.  Luigi then tickled Pikachu behind his ears, making him giggle.

              “Just pretend you’re fighting another Pokémon,” Luigi said to Pikachu.  “It shouldn’t be hard.”

              “Pika!” agreed Pikachu.  He was really looking forward to this battle.

              So was Luigi.  This would be quite a symbolic match.  The best character in Smash against the worst character in Smash.  While the outcome seemed clear on paper, in truth—the iconic electric mouse’s opponent was tougher than he looked.

              3…2…1…GO!

              The polar opposites on the tier list rushed each other, one bearing electricity and the other bearing fire and rock-solid punches and kicks.  Pikachu’s electric attacks were white hot and made Luigi’s muscles twitch for a few seconds.  He also attacked with his head and his lightning bolt-shaped tail, as well as a few kicks of his own.  Unfortunately, his size made it easy for Luigi to grab and throw him, providing breathing room and combo opportunities.  He came at Pikachu mercilessly with his down aerial, his smashes, his up and forward tilts and his dash attack.  He tried to lure Pikachu into an up-B, but the electric mouse used his Quick Attack for a clean getaway.  Both fighters made use of the crates and barrels falling from the sky, burning each other with Fire Flowers, slashing away with Beam Swords, whacking with Hammers and impeding with Bumpers.  They gobbled up Maxim Tomatoes to restore health and used Heart Containers to fully heal them.  They leaped from roof to roof, jolting, throwing fireballs and pounding to their hearts’ content.

              Here was where the garage on the big roof came to good use.  Now and then, the door would open, revealing a Pokémon (usually a Legendary) who would unleash an attack on an unsuspecting fighter.  Now, Pikachu didn’t feel betrayed in the slightest, as he was used to fighting other Pokémon, but when he noticed the door opening, he’d try to knock Luigi directly into its path and watch him take a beating.  Rather than discourage him, this made the man in green exert himself harder than ever.  He sported slight burns from electricity, Fire Flower assaults and attacks from Fire-types who emerged from that door.  There were slashes from the times Pikachu had used a Beam Sword, and his limbs ached from punching and kicking so much.  More injuries peppered him, but he could only see the electric mouse in front of him, the proverbial “top dog”, waving with a jolly “Pika-pika!”  It was the “top dog” vs the “underdog”, and today was the “underdog’s” time to shine.

              Pikachu tried another Quick Attack, but Luigi intercepted his trajectory and landed a few punches at the side.  The mouse sent some more electricity at the plumber and kicked at him with his hind legs.  Before he could follow up, Luigi did a forwards corkscrew kick, two flip kicks and a downwards corkscrew kick before using the wall of the garage to trap and combo Pikachu.

              “Pika!!” Pikachu called down a huge bolt of thunder which disrupted Luigi’s infinite combo.  He then put the man in green on his back and body-slammed him before going at him with tail sweeps, head-butts and more electricity.  Luigi managed to grab the ledge and returned to the stage with a good kick attack.

              “Pi,” Pikachu said softly.

              “You really think I’m good?  Thanks,” said Luigi with a blush.  “Now, let’s finish this.”

              Items were all but forgotten as the two threw themselves at each other, giving it all they had left.  Luigi using Pikachu’s light weight to conquer his supposed disadvantage over him.  Pikachu using Luigi’s low traction and floatiness to stop combos in their tracks.  Both using some Legendary in the garage to turn things upside down, inside out and round and round.  Pushing aching and sweating bodies harder and further, refusing to let victory come quickly to the opponent.

              Regardless of tier rankings, it was Luigi who ultimately triumphed.  As Pikachu teetered on the ledge where he’d been cornered, the plumber hollered and lunged, using his maximum power to Smash the Electric-type out of the arena.

              GAME SET!

              Back in the waiting area, Luigi quenched his thirst with his sports drink and gave the glove a smoldering look.  “Are you sure that tier list was done correctly?” he asked.

              “It’s meant to be a reference for competitive players,” explained the glove.  “It doesn’t mean that you can’t fight.  You _can_ knock a few fighters out of the ball park, as you’ve demonstrated so far.”

              Luigi flushed deep red.  “I’m not finished with them yet, though,” he said.

              The glove handed Luigi a piece of chocolate cake.  “You’re going to need all the fuel you can get,” he warned.  “Your next foe is a giant one.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is that you’ll have two allies at your side.”

              Luigi savored the rich chocolate cake as he listened.  “I’m going to eat that one just like I’m eating this pastry,” he vowed, his mouth full of the dessert.

**I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.**  
**To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause...**  
 **I will travel across the land, searching far and wide,**  
 **Teach Pokémon to understand, the power that's inside.**  
 **Pokémon...gotta catch 'em all!!**  
 **It's you and me...**  
 **I know it's my destiny**  
 **Pokémon...Oh, you're my best friend,**  
 **in a world we must defend.**  
 **Pokémon...Gotta catch 'em all!!**  
 **A heart so true--Our courage will pull us through!**  
 **You teach me and I'll teach you!**  
 **Pokémon!**  
 **Gotta Catch 'Em All!**  
 **Gotta Catch 'Em All!**  
 **POKE-KE-MON!**  
  
---  
  
               

               
    


	8. Vs Giant DK

              His eyes were closed in pleasure as his chocolatey fingers slid into his mouth, his tongue lapping at the last traces of cake and frosting.  His grateful stomach growled as it digested the sweet snack.  Outside, he heard the glove talking to someone.  Probably his two allies for the giant battle.  Once his fingers were licked clean, Luigi opened his eyes and pondered over what giant the glove had crafted for him.  As if a giant could actually stop him.  No way that was going to happen.  Many tough battles had been fought, and he was going to keep fighting till he reached his goal!

              The glove floated back in, accompanied by Fox.  “I believe you two encountered each other earlier,” he said.

              “Indeed,” smiled Luigi, greeting Fox with a warm smile.

              Fox rolled his shoulders.  “You left a few marks,” he commented.

              “Bet you didn’t expect that,” murmured Luigi.

              “Not really.  So, who’s this giant opponent?  And where’s our other ally?”

              “I’ll go fetch him now,” said the glove, departing.

              “You got your gadgets fixed up?” asked Luigi.

              “Yeah.  I’m telling you, Slippy is a handy guy.”

              “What about Peppy and Falco?  They’re not interested?”

              “I offered to take them into it with me, but they declined,” sighed Fox.  “Now, Falco’s giving me grief about how I didn’t let him come along.  I asked him about it more than once.”

              “If there’s another get-together like this one, I’m sure you can make this up to him,” reasoned Luigi.

              “Maybe,” said Fox.  “Hey, listen, about our fight…”

              “Yeah?”

              “I acted a bit cocky, and I guess it was because…”

              “…of that tier list?” finished Luigi.  “Almost everyone here has made that misconception about me.”

              “What misconception?” asked Fox.

              “That I’m no good.  I can’t do anything, much less put up a fight.  But I’m sure you’ll be feeling the truth for the next few days.  Need I mention cracking your Reflector and knocking your Blaster out of your hands?”

              Fox chuckled.

              “Tell you what—we’ll fight the giant first, and then we’ll talk about our battle.  Deal?”

              “Deal.”

              They chatted casually for a bit before they heard the sounds of an animated conversation.

              Luigi knew that voice.  “Mario.”

              “I know we’ll take that giant now!” crowed Fox.

              Luigi fixed him with a pointed look, but he said nothing.  The vulpine was displaying the same overconfident attitude which cost him victory in the earlier match.

              Meanwhile, the glove floated back in, shutting out Mario raking him over the coals over his stunt with the Luigi clone.  Mario’s lecture ended mid-sentence when he saw his baby bro.

              “Weegee!” he called out.

              “Hey, Mario!” greeted Luigi as the two bear-hugged.

              “You ready to take on this giant opponent?” asked Luigi once the embrace finished.

              “Oh, yeah!  Let’s-a go!”

              “Okeydokey!”

              Fox cocked his Blaster.  “Yippie-kai-yay, buddy,” he muttered.

              The glove rolled his eyes (?) and warped the trio to the Kongo Jungle.  A simple, square stage bordered by a few palm trees and bushes.  Below the stage was a Barrel Cannon which would eject the fighters in any given direction.

              A giant barrel with the initials DK on it exploded into splinters, revealing none other than—a giant Donkey Kong.

              “Oh.  O—kay,” Luigi said slowly, focusing himself on the gargantuan ape.  He and Mario were going to have plenty of fun with this one.  DK and the Mario Bros went way back—well, at least Mario and DK did.  Luigi was working as a small-time mechanic while Mario was bringing home bread as a carpenter and locking horns with a girlfriend-stealing simian.  By the time the bros were working as plumbers and rescuing princesses, peace had been reached with the King of the Jungle, who returned to his homeland to look after his folks and fight off K. Rool.  Nowadays, DK could be seen at the Mario Kart races, parties and sports tournaments.

              “Wow,” said Fox.  “That’s huge.”

              “Hello, DK,” Mario said to his frenemy.  “You’ve really grown, haven’t you?”

              Giant DK grinned down at his three opponents.

              “We may be diminutive in your eyes,” Luigi spoke up, “but our hearts are large!  Metaphorically speaking, of course.  We’re not going to be beat that easily!”

              Giant DK faced the audience and shrugged.

              With Luigi in the lead, the three advanced toward their giant foe.  Giant DK crouched down and offered a pointer finger for each of them to shake.

              “And don’t worry.  This isn’t personal,” Mario assured Giant DK.  “One side’s going to win, and the other’s going to lose.”

              “And the loser’s going to be you!” cried Luigi, punctuating this with a flying leap at GDK.

              3…2…1…GO!

              Luigi’s flying kick collided with GDK’s chin as his two allies rushed to his aid.  Fox began a steady stream of Blaster fire, weakening the beast without him knowing.  Mario threw some fireballs, knocked a few coins from GDK using his variation of the Super Jump Punch and then joined his brother in flitting around the giant, assaulting him with sharp blows.  GDK defended himself with swiping and clapping attacks powerful enough to knock the plumbers out of thin air.  He followed up with a two-punch combo which chained into itself and then clapped forward, catching all except Fox, who used his Firefox for a swift escape.

              The vulpine lashed out with his judo-style moves while the brothers recovered.  Fire was in Luigi’s eyes, and it roared to life as soon as the man in green rejoined the battle with a powerful punch to GDK’s back, a breakdance sweep, and his cyclone attack.  He battered the overgrown ape’s face with aerial attacks and seared his chest with fireballs.  Mario engaged GDK just as ferociously, and soon, his eye fell on a familiar Hammer.

              “Just like old times,” he murmured as he grabbed the weapon and started pummeling away.

              The Hammer didn’t last long, and as soon as it wore off, GDK performed a headbutt which left Mario buried.  Luigi and Fox distracted GDK before he could follow up.  Once Mario unstuck himself from the ground, he hurled a barrage of fireballs at the beast.

              GDK started slamming his hands on the floor, as if beating a drum, creating shockwaves which sent the threesome off their feet.  Luigi was caught in the trajectory of the slamming hands and took a hefty battering before shooting a Super Jump Punch right between GDK’s eyes.

              The trio assaulted GDK with newfound vigor.  But if normal DK’s attacks were strong, then GDK’s attacks were even stronger.  He swiped, clapped, kicked, pounded and punched.  His Spinning Kong attack almost mirrored the bros’ down-B moves.  Long, hairy arms became helicopter blades, smashing into anyone in his way.  He was also the only fighter who could walk around while grabbing people, using this to try and chuck one of the three off the stage.  With the clock relentlessly ticking down, the three fighters were breathing in deep gasps, aching, bloodied and bruised.  Luigi had even taken a few Giant Punches to the nose.  But that fire never left his eyes.  He threw a glance toward his two allies, and the look he offered them seemed to re-inflate them.

              “We’re not the metaphorical bugs, Giant DK,” Luigi said in a low, level voice.  “You will never, ever, ever, _ever_ squash us.”

              GDK had a pensive expression on his face as he studied Luigi’s eyes, swollen yet saturated with intensity.  Lips parted slightly, oxygen coming in and carbon dioxide coming out.  Hands glowing with green sparks.  He sliced into GDK with that singular facial expression before raising a fiery fist and launching it into the giant ape.  Now, he began to punch left and right, sweating but not daring to stop.  Mario and Fox helped out when they could, but their energy seemed to be fleeing them quickly.  GDK was wise to this and decided to finish them first.  With one overhand swipe, he sent Fox rocketing out of the stage.  Mario turned in time to see a Giant Punch collide with him, hurtling him into temporary oblivion.

              Tension hung low in the air.  Luigi sucked in his breath.

              GDK’s eyes widened as he saw the fury illuminating his lone remaining opponent.

              Luigi had seen the Giant Punch smash into Mario.  He’d heard his big bro scream in agony and fear as he sailed beyond the blast line.  He’d glimpsed the triumphant grin on GDK’s face.  And now this ape was in for a crapload of pain.

              “ _This is for my brother—you darn, dirty ape!!_ ”

              Luigi charged forward at full steam, releasing all of his rage on GDK.  He punched, he kicked, he threw and he burned, not stopping till he saw the ape begin to falter.  And with one last angry battle cry, Luigi plowed an uppercut into GDK, defeating him.

              “You hurt my brother!” Luigi screamed after him.  “No one hurts my brother— _no one hurts my brother_ —no one…”

              GAME SET!

              “You might want to take it easy there,” warned the glove as he fetched Luigi some water.

              Tears streamed down the plumber’s face.  “The very minute he knocked out Mario, stuff got serious.”

              “He’s going to be okay,” the glove said to him.  “I gave both him and Fox a Heart Container and a Maxim Tomato.  They’ll be out and about in no time.”

              Luigi sipped his water, feeling himself calm down.

              “I’d never let my Smashers get hurt,” smiled the glove.  “Now, after all that excitement, it’s time for another Bonus Stage!”   


	9. Board the Platforms!

              Luigi took another draught from his water bottle.  “Don’t think you’ve aborted talking about those two stunts you pulled on me,” he said.

              “Those being…” prompted the glove.

              “I’m still steaming from you manipulating Mario with a clone of me,” Luigi explained.  “Compounded with the fact that you made him fight a giant version of DK—I mean, regular DK’s punches hurt enough.”

              “I don’t promise easy rides for my Smashers,” said the glove.  “I aim to put them to the test.”

              “You’re doing a fine job with that,” commented Luigi.  “So, you have more targets for me to break?”

              “Nope.  It’s a different Bonus Stage,” the glove told him.

              The giant glove picked up Luigi and carried him over to the second Bonus Stage he’d prepared for him.  It consisted of a bunch of platforms floating in space, along with a beige wall made of tiny blocks.  When the glove deposited Luigi at the starting point, he scanned his surroundings.

              “I’m confused,” said Luigi.  “What am I supposed to do?”

              “Oh, it’s simple,” replied the glove.  “Board the platforms!”

              “That’s a whole lot of platforms,” muttered Luigi.

              “I know you can do it,” winked the glove.  “Are you ready?”

              Luigi squared his shoulders.  “Yes.”

              “GO!”

              Luigi noticed three platforms, to the left, center and right of him, respectively, and quickly tagged them.  He dropped down to the lowest platform of the stage and then leaped off of its left side.  While falling, he made sure to line himself up with a moving beige slope.  A foot or so below the slope was another platform.  Luigi managed to angle his body so that he landed on that platform; then, he hopped off and once again fell.  At the center point, he jumped and used his up-B to tag the awaiting platform.  He dropped to tag the low platform and then landed on a blue ledge.  From that blue ledge, he jumped his way to the upper platform.

              Looking down, Luigi spotted a nook, and below the nook, bottomless darkness.  He took three deep breaths and jumped, dropping below the nook.  In the air, he did his second jump, coupled with another Super Jump Punch, landing squarely on the platform in the nook.  He felt his heart thrumming as he dropped out of that nook and claimed the easy nearby platforms.  Afterwards, he jumped from the upper platform onto the nook roof.  Another jump and Super Jump Punch landed him onto a moving platform, and from there, he worked his way up a series of narrow ledges.  Timing things very carefully, Luigi jumped and alighted onto the final platform.

              COMPLETE!

              “All right,” said the glove once Luigi returned to the waiting area.  “The matches are only going to get harder.  What do you say to a few moments in our sauna, or maybe relaxing for a bit in our Jacuzzi?”

              “How about both?” asked Luigi.

              “Even better.”


	10. Vs Kirby Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to "Kirby Falcon Punch" while reading this!

              Steam swirled around Luigi as he reclined in the steam room, a white towel wrapped round his waist, eyes closed, feeling the warmth condense on his skin.  A frosted-over cup of cucumber-infused water was in his hand, and he occasionally took sips from it.  He breathed in the clean, fresh smell, the scent of citrus and sometimes mint filling his nostrils, feeling his muscles relax and the neurons in his brain settle.  The ache drained away, the events of the previous battles melting away like fog in the sunshine.  The Luigi clone and the battle with Giant DK seemed distant memories.  He was enfolded in complete silence except for the sound of his breathing and the hiss of steam.  The steam room cleansed him, both inside and out; the dirt and toxins bubbling out of and evaporating from his skin so good to feel.  While his body turned pink under the temperature, his mind did a purge of its own, repairing, resetting and refocusing.

              Until…

              _“Are you freaking kidding me?!  Last place?!”_

              The memory, taking a bite out of him like a Chain Chomp.  Just days into the tournament, and the high-and-mighty suits had already made a decision about him!  Did they think that just because he was timid, they could drop him to the bottom like a disgusting insect and get away with it?  Boy—they made a huge mistake.  They just didn’t know it yet.

              _“You may want to sit down for this, Lil’ Bro…”_

_“What is it?  Bro, tell me what’s going on.”_

              _“I don’t know how to tell you this, but—uh—I sneaked a look at the tier list, and—uh—you were ranked pretty low.”_

#  _"Well, who was I to expect any better?  I could use a stiff drink right now…”_

Ah, Mario.  His fame-hogging elder brother knew he was last place, but he didn’t see fit to tell him.  Instead, he lied.  A lie by omission, but a lie, nonetheless.  Mario meant well, of course, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

              _“Look, Bro—I—I wanted to tell you…”_

              Yeah, like _that_ was an excuse.  Over the next few days, Luigi made sure his big bro remembered the secret he’d kept from him during their matches and spars, especially in that last one, after catching him hanging around with a clone like nothing was wrong.  But then again, Mario was helping him through this, calling out audience members and certain higher-ranked fighters on their appalling displays.  He was still there for him.  Luigi just chalked up these emotions to the regular mixed feelings he carried toward Mario.

              Then, he told himself to stop thinking about that tier list, because it caused him stress.  Another whoosh of steam enveloped him, and Luigi inhaled deeply, peace winging its way into his soul.  He sat there, condensation rolling down his neck, lightly muscled chest and abs, until his fingertips pruned.  Sadly, he couldn’t stay in this oasis for much longer, but that was what made it so special.  

              When he was ready, Luigi stepped out of the steam room and took a deep breath of the cooler air.  The Jacuzzi had been grand, too, the bubbles massaging away at his tense body.  But the steam room had been the highlight, from the soothing steam to the blissful quiet to the wrapping, cascading warmth.

              Retreating to his locker, he dried himself off and slipped into a clean white shirt and green overalls.  He brushed his hair back into place and situated a new white “L”-emblazoned ball-cap onto his head.

              The glove appeared.  “I take it the spa was to your liking?”

              “Yes, it was.  So, who’s next?”

              “I’m pitting you against a team of eight,” said the glove.  “Your opponents are lightweight, but are not to be underestimated.”

              “Okeydokey,” said Luigi.

              “One more thing—they tend to be quite the copycats.”

              “Copycats?  I know who you’re talking about!” shouted Luigi.

              The glove summoned a Warp Pipe which took Luigi to the peaceful burg of Dreamland.  More specifically, the Whispy Woods located in Dreamland.  The man in green knew all about the gale-blowing, apple-dropping tree and the stage hazard it would pose.  If he was facing against the wind, then he could be blown off the stage!

              Around Luigi, eight Warp Stars zipped through the blue sky.  They each landed one after the other onto the stage with a crash.  Out of each Warp Star tumbled a familiar, pink, round, eight-inch-tall hero with big eyes, blushing cheeks, red shoes and stubs for arms.

              “Hii!”

              “Hii!”

              “Hii!”

              “Hii!”

              “Hii!”

              “Hii!”

              “Hii!”

              “Hii!”

              “You must be the Kirby Team,” said Luigi.

              “Poyo!” they replied as one.

              “Each of you has an ability pertaining to the eight starters,” Luigi went on.

              The regular Kirby identified himself with a happy “Poyo!”

              Luigi smiled.  “‘Poyo’ all you want, but you won’t be able to stop me,” he said.  “You can give it your best shot, though.”

              The young Star Warrior wasn’t to be underestimated—after all, he was considered the second-best fighter on the roster!  Unlike _some_ fighters, Kirby was humble about his high ranking, opting for low-key celebrations like sharing a banana split with Pikachu, who’d taken an interest in him well before the list was tacked onto the board.  He didn’t abandon his friends because they were ranked lower than him.  This little guy should be a role model for higher tiers!  Why couldn’t _they_ be like him?!

              This and more went through Luigi’s head in a heartbeat.  Then, he forced the strong emotions into the back of his mind, preparing for one heck of a throwdown with Kirby and his brethren.

              The Kirby team drew themselves in a circle around their opponent, allowing him to look them over whilst they did unto him in a similar fashion.  They noticed how his breaths slowed into a deliberate rhythm, how his face turned to stone and how his eyes gave a hardened glint. There was Mario Kirby, DK Kirby (complete with full-body fur), Link Kirby (with a hat similar to Sword Kirby), Samus Kirby (whose helmet took up his whole body), Yoshi Kirby, Fox Kirby (look at those ears!), Pikachu Kirby and normal Kirby.  Using these hats, these Kirbies could copy the B moves of the Great Eight.  Sometimes, there would be a Kirby version of one of the Formidable Four hidden characters, but the glove had the system randomized.  Maybe next time…

              3…2…1…GO!

              A frenetic cover of Gourmet Race played as Luigi charged into battle against the Kirby Team.  The first Kirby he confronted was Mario Kirby.  The little red-capped puffball began launching red fireballs which bounced along the ground, but Luigi evaded them, countering with his own gravity-defying fireballs.  After a brief exchange of fireballs, they moved in for close-range hand-to-appendage, which was bad news for Mario Kirby.  Since his already light weight had been tweaked further, Luigi’s blows could launch him further and higher.  But many of Kirby’s moves were based on his Ninja, Fighter, Backdrop and Suplex abilities, which had cleared many enemies on his quests.  His Vulcan Jab, Final Cutter, Stone and throws could rack up some hurt.  He wasn’t ranked second on that stupid list for being one of the most adorable fighters.  But the fluffball’s abilities were no match for Luigi’s determination; soon the plumber’s hard-hitting attacks took the lead, and a massive forward punch sent Mario Kirby off the stage.

              DK Kirby was the next to challenge him, and the sight of him charging up his version of the Giant Punch was enough to set Luigi off.  He remembered what the giant-sized Giant Punch had done to Mario.  He breathed heavily, shoving the memory aside, and sidestepped the Kirby-sized Giant Punch.  After unleashing the blow, DK Kirby made a cute little noise.  Luigi attacked with his flailing punches, a low kick, a roundhouse kick and a flurry of Smashes.  DK Kirby dodged a breakdance sweep and slashed Luigi with Final Cutter, following up with another Giant Punch, which hit this time.  Ignoring the pain near his solar plexus, Luigi got up and got even with a display of aerial attacks, followed by a Cyclone, and an up smash, defeating him.

              Link Kirby began their confrontation by hurling his boomerang at Luigi a few times.  It managed to hit once, stunning the man in green enough for Link Kirby to lay a few smash attacks and Final Cutters on him.  But Luigi rolled away, executed a get-up attack and launched a relentless offensive on his opponent, sending him on his way by swinging him round three times and flinging him off stage.

              Samus Kirby charged up a Charge Shot and tottered toward Luigi, who slipped behind him, popped him into the air with a few punches and then went to town with an aerial combo.  He didn’t even give him the chance to fire off the Charge Shot, unleashing a Super Jump Punch which sent him beyond the blast line.

              Yoshi Kirby was a little difficult, given his better combo versatility after using Egg Lay on Luigi.  But the man in green held on, finishing off Yoshi Kirby with a flaming uppercut.

              Fox Kirby opened fire with his Blaster, but Luigi did the same thing he did to the real deal—knocked the Blaster clean out of his stubby arms—before smashing him off stage.

              Pikachu Kirby sent bursts of electricity toward Luigi, even letting out Pikachu’s signature battle cry as he did.  The man in green took a few jolts and was bodied quite a bit before knocking the puffball away with a giant punch and combo-ing him into submission, using his forward throw to K.O. him.

              At long last, normal Kirby was standing before him, waving and saying “Hii!”

              “You ready, Kirby?” asked Luigi.

              “Poy!”

              Kirby opened his mouth and inhaled, sucking Luigi in.  Two seconds later, he spat the plumber back out.  He now sported a green cap with a white “L” on it, having obtained his ability.  “Poyo!” he giggled triumphantly.

              “I don’t think so, Kirby!” laughed Luigi as the two charged one another.

              Green fireballs flew and punches were landed as the duo squared off.  Kirby was giving Luigi a taste of his own medicine, but his opponent didn’t waver then.  His cheeks were redder than his, and his breath came briskly as he punched and kicked for all he was worth.  One hard blow knocked Kirby’s copy ability away in the form of a star.  Kirby used his Suplex-style throws and other fast attacks to get even, but Luigi would always come roaring back.  In the end, Luigi nailed Kirby with his down aerial and launched him into the sky with an up-B.

              GAME SET!

              “Kirby Ranks?” Luigi asked the glove as he rested at the waiting station.

              “You should be thanking me; that’s a hefty bonus,” said the glove.

              Luigi enjoyed a refreshing glass of lemonade, wondering what the glove had in store for him next.

              “When you’re done with that, how about you head back into the sauna for a few more minutes?” suggested the glove.  “Your next opponent is tough as nails.”


	11. Vs Samus

              _Those Kirby fighters_ , thought Luigi as he found himself back in the steam room.  _They left quite a few dents on me_.  The pink puffball was cute, but he was still a Star Warrior, defending Dreamland against greedy monarchs and ferocious monsters.  _And what will I be remembered doing_? He asked himself as he reclined and inhaled deeply through his nostrils, allowing himself to once again remember some of the events which brought him to this moment.

              “ _Where is he, the last-place loser?  You’re the bottom of the food chain, buddy!_ ”

              Luigi’s eyes snapped open then, jaw clenching in anger.  Some cocky A tier had tried to dump on him—and a fellow hidden character, no less!  Couldn’t you believe that?  The fact that a man who was lounging around with him hours prior to that incident could drunkenly make fun of him was enough to make the plumber queasy.  His words rang in his head every night and throughout every match he fought.  Last-place loser, huh?  Bottom of the food chain, huh?  Wait till he saw him fight his way through opponents until he reached the toughest of them all!

              “ _Let’s see how low you are_!”

              “ _Somebody here had better explain the pecking order to him, because it’s not fun and games anymore_!”

              The latter came from Fox, who had since softened his stance toward Luigi—even more so after the plumber had whooped him so atop the Great Fox, disabling his Blaster and Reflector in the process!  Luigi replayed every glorious moment of that battle in his mind, along with how he’d unnerved the vulpine a few weeks ago in a telling conversation inside the spacecraft.

              “ _That tier list will be ready for the_ shredder _by the time I’m through with them_.”

              Oh, yes, it would.

              He retreated back into the steam, feeling it extinguish the anger that had welled up inside his soul.  None of these injustices had been dealt against him until that infernal list.  But when the makers of that list discovered what he’d accomplished today, they’d be forced to do some serious revisions!  Same as with the higher tiers who thought they were everything.  They’d be wishing they could unsay those mocking things about him, and their wishing wouldn’t be in vain!

              _He’d rolled up his sleeves, plunging an ominous stare into them as they sneered at him.  One of them, the racer, had called him a name, and—that did it.  Fox had decided to let his friend to the grunt work of actually charging at him, and—well, there wasn’t much to say.  Mario had grabbed Fox and physically restrained him while Luigi had administered quite a pounding to the good Captain.  He’d never forget the song that was playing on the stereo on that fateful afternoon.  And he’d left his challenger with quite a few things to think about, notably a hangover, a guilty conscience and a bruised, aching body.  He’d been apologizing and begging Luigi’s forgiveness since, but the man in green decided to leave him hanging for a fair amount of the tournament._

              He was pulled out of his flashback by the sound of the door opening.

              “Oh, my gosh!  I’m so sorry!” said a female voice.

              Luigi opened his eyes and smiled at the tall, ponytailed woman.  “Hey, Samus.  No harm done,” he said.

              Samus Aran sighed in relief.  “Just a heads-up, I’m your next opponent.  Meet me on Planet Zebes.  Okay, bye!”  And then she popped back out.

              Luigi grinned at the prospect of tangling with the mighty bounty huntress and her Varia Suit.  Word was out that she had the hots for a certain racecar driver.  Maybe she’d tell him herself that he was far from some “last-place loser” after their battle.

              The climate of Planet Zebes would be tough to battle on.  Below the earthy stage was an acid pool which rose and fell at random times.  The acid would deal sound damage and high knockback, and it had K.O. potential.  The giant glove was right—the matches would keep getting harder until the final one!

              Just the thought of fighting Samus on Planet Zebes was enough for him to exit the steam room, deciding that rest time was over.  He dressed quickly, this time in blue, and met the glove in the Waiting Area.

              “Well, I see that you’re invigorated,” said the glove.

              “Yep,” said Luigi.  “I have a bounty hunter to fight.”

              “Just watch out for her projectiles and her Screw Attack,” cautioned the glove.

              “Duly noted,” Luigi told him before hopping into the Warp Pipe.

              He emerged on Planet Zebes to see Samus waiting for him, decked out in her Varia Suit.  “Good timing, L,” she said.

              “You got some pampering in?” he asked her.

              “Oh, yes—and I see that you did, too.”

              Luigi stepped resolutely toward her.  “Have you practiced lately?  Because you’re going to need all of the practice you can get.”

              “Ditto.  I’m not going to make this easy for you.”

              Samus held out her hand.  Luigi shook it.

              “Give it your best,” she encouraged.

              “You, too.”

              3…2…1…GO!

              Luigi knew the first thing Samus did after the word “Go” was to charge her Charge Shot.  As she did so, he quietly went up to her, but she saw him and rolled to the side.  Luigi punished the roll with a breakdance sweep and got her in the air to do some aerials on her.  She recovered quickly, laying a few Bombs on the stage during the descent.  One blast launched her opponent toward her, and she greeted him with a few hard hits from armor-clad fists and feet, blasts from her Arm Cannon and upward corkscrew kicks.  She finished with a Screw Attack.

              “I told you I wasn’t making this easy!” she called to him as he spun into her with a Cyclone and battered her armor with Smash attacks.  That armor was rough on his fists, but he wasn’t going to quit.  They danced and shuffled, looking for openings, and before Samus knew it, Luigi had captured her in a combo.  She escaped using fire from her Arm Cannon and fired a Charge Shot at him.  Luigi retaliated with his fireballs.  Surprisingly, it could still damage Samus, despite her armor.  He rushed at her with his dash attack and pelted her with more punches.  The places where he saw denting and chipping were where he attacked the fiercest.

              Samus lifted her leg and brought it down on Luigi, popping him up diagonally, following up with her forward aerial and then her down aerial.  The plumber quickly picked himself up, grabbed her and threw her off the stage after spinning three times.  She hit the acid pit and shot right back up, allowing her opponent to smash her back down over and over.

              She escaped once again and battered him with her cannon, throwing fast roundhouse, forward and axe kicks.  Her cannon fired flame blasts above her head in an arch, dealing a whopping 50% if all blasts hit home.  Luigi took about half that damage before leaping to safety.  He threw out some more fireballs, and then dashed at her and started a combo with his down aerial.

              The acid pool began to rise, covering the lower half of the stage.  The combatants jumped up on the highest platform and continued to go at it, sometimes knocking their opponent into the painful liquid.  Luigi had put a crack in the Varia Suit, and he sported slight acid burns from the stage hazard.  He thought he saw Samus’s face through the visor of her suit, her blonde hair a little messy.  As the acid bubbled below them, punches continued to fly, Samus’s heavier but Luigi’s a tad quicker.  She tried to force him beyond the upper blast line with her Screw Attack and/or her up aerial.  But Luigi always escaped in the nick of time and found ways to meteor-smash her.  They kept their eyes on the acid as the level fluctuated.  It was a handy strategy as well as a stage hazard, for it could lead to an assisted K.O.

              Time ticked down.  Acid burned.  Punches slammed and kicks rammed.  Breaths shortened.  Samus made a mental reminder to thank the Chozo—look at the job her armor was doing on her opponent.  Though throbbing all over and a little tired, Luigi soldiered on.  His blows caused her armor to sustain some damage.  A thin line was now crossing her visor.  Thinking quickly, he aimed a fist right at the crack, creating a spider web pattern.

              Samus retreated, firing off another Charge Shot, before pulling off her helmet and tossing it aside.  Her face was red, and her ponytail was starting to come loose.

              “I didn’t see that coming,” she said honestly before charging up another shot.

              “You didn’t see this, either,” Luigi whispered into her ear.  He’d sneaked up behind her during the interval.

              “Wait, what?”

              **PIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!**

              Luigi plowed a Super Jump Punch straight into Samus’s back, landing a K.O.

              GAME SET!

              “I hope we fight again!” he called after her.

              He was transported back to the waiting area, where the glove waited with some honey-roasted cashews.

              “How was it?” he asked as he handed Luigi the can.

              “I was honored to do battle with her,” replied Luigi.

              “Very nice,” said the glove.  “Rest up and rebuild your strength.  Your next opponent will be metallic.  Won’t that be fun?”

              Luigi popped a handful of cashews into his mouth.  “Oodles.”

 


	12. Vs Metal Mario

              The stage he was now on was alien to him.  He was on a silver base platform, with a smaller platform and a floating platform above him.  Large, metallic crystalline structures adorned the backdrop, and the silence was broken up by small echoes.  The air felt strangely cool, and Luigi didn’t know whether or not it was just him.  He took a deep breath and surveyed this mysterious arena.

              “You’re on Meta Crystal,” explained the glove.  “Your metallic opponent lives here.”

              Leaden footsteps sounded toward them.  Quickly, Luigi assumed his fighting position.

              “Luigi, say hello to Metal Mario!”

              The short, squat, silvery figure now approaching was definitely Metal Mario.  To become Metal, one had to obtain a certain green block with an exclamation point on it.  And yet the glove could bypass that to have Mario assume his Metal form!

              “I created this metal clone of your brother myself,” explained the glove.  “Looks good, doesn’t he?”

              Metal Mario waved.

              “You’ve really outdone yourself,” Luigi said tonelessly.

              “Remember, he’s made out of pure alloy.  He’ll be harder to K.O., and he can withstand more of your attacks, but he’s also heavier, and gravity really likes heavier things.  Your priority is to get gravity on your side.”

              “Got it,” said Luigi as the glove disappeared.

              The man in green met Metal Mario at the center of Meta Crystal and stuck out his hand.   A cold, metallic hand grabbed his, and they shook.  Then, they readied themselves, Luigi pressing his lips into a firm line and breathing through his nostrils.

              3…2…1…GO!

              Ambient music with a heavy drumbeat began to blast over the loudspeakers as the two charged at each other.

              _Focus, L.  Don’t get overconfident.  Watch out for those metal fists; they hit like a supersonic train.  Use gravity to your advantage.  Use his momentum to your advantage.  Jump right in with those smash attacks to get him in the red quickly.  He’ll most likely use his down-B if you’re at low percentages and go for an up-B if you’re damaged enough.  Try sending him downward with your attacks.  His jump height has decreased, so if you get him off the stage, and he tries to recover, he’ll drop like an anvil.  If your advantage is slipping, end the fight as quickly as possible.  Don’t forget to breathe.  Focus, L, focus!_

              Due to the increased tonnage on his opponent, Luigi opened this battle more aggressively than the previous ones.  His forward smash and down smash did a great job of chipping away at this gleaming brute.  The dense alloy hurt his fists, but he tuned himself out to the pain, continuing to throw those mighty, big-fisted punches of his.  Now, Metal Mario was more sluggish than his flesh-and-blood counterpart, sacrificing speed for might.  So, it was hard for him to dodge Luigi’s attacks and easy for Luigi to dodge his.  MM couldn’t run; he just walked about the stage with those footsteps: _twow, twow, twow_.  Mechanical, robotic and rhythmic, keeping pace with Luigi’s heart.  He studied MM’s face and saw that he didn’t really have one—this one was faceless, soulless—not like the Metal Mario he was used to in his home world adventures.  All he could see was his own reflection staring back at him as MM continued his advance like a steamroller, the Smash attacks and fireballs hindering him for only a minute or two.

              When MM grabbed him, his hold was iron.  Luigi couldn’t break free as easily as with the others.  If he let MM combo up on him, then he was done for.  So, he DI’d once MM threw him and went back to attacking.  His stance, however, didn’t stop him from taking crushing, vicious blows from his metal foe.  The Mario Tornado had slammed into him multiple times, and other moves, like punches, headbutts and kicks, also had his damage percentage in the red along with MM.  Luigi further chipped away at MM with his fireballs before shaking out his hands and punching and kicking some more.  He could feel his face continue to swell, the pain like some enormous mallet pounding all over his body.  There was the wetness of sweat and blood.  The swelling was making it difficult for him to see.  He knew without looking at his image on MM that he looked a mess.

              He licked the sweet-and-sour taste of blood from his lips and slammed even more Smash attacks into MM, who was now trying to land Super Jump Punches on him.  Luigi slid out of range every time and began to move towards the edge.  Metal Mario, unaware of what his foe was planning, steadily marched after him, attacking ferociously.  Soon, Luigi was close to the edge but not teetering on it, and MM, thinking that he’d trapped his challenger, took the bait.  As he curled up and began to spin with his Tornado, Luigi sidestepped, sending MM spinning off the edge.  As he predicted, gravity began to pull MM down.  Desperate, he tried to use his up-B to recover, but since his vertical distance was limited, he only wound up in a helpless freefalling state.  Luigi watched as MM silently dropped like a stone into the abyss.

              GAME SET!

              “Believe it or not, you’re almost there,” the glove said to him as he tended to Luigi’s wounds.  “Only two more fights, and your journey will be over.  But these two fights won’t be easy.”

              “Tell me about it,” murmured Luigi.

              “Of course, I can’t tell you what your final two challenges will be just yet,” winked the glove.

              “I know,” said Luigi.

              “Before we get into that, however,” said the glove, “I have one last Bonus Stage for you.” 


	13. Race to the Finish!

              “This last Bonus Stage is the most straightforward of them all,” said the glove.  “You have one minute to clear an obstacle course as fast as you can.”

              “Obstacle course?” repeated Luigi.

              “Look, no sweat.  You jump higher than him, so you’ll have no problem clearing obstacles that way.”

              “Well, knowing you, I’ll expect plenty of twists in this obstacle course,” said Luigi.

              The glove chuckled, picked up Luigi and floated him over to the obstacle course.

              It was more like a maze leading downward, each level marked by a number.  Peering down, Luigi saw those Bumpers floating in strategic areas and disjointed 3D figures wandering around.  These figures were known as Polygons, and if they weren’t training with the fighters, they were helping around the Smash Mansion.

              “I have one minute to reach the finish,” murmured Luigi.

              “It’s a Bonus Stage,” shrugged the glove.  “It’s not like you’ll lose everything if you don’t beat it.”

              “I know, I know,” sighed Luigi.

              “Your nerves are coming back?”

              “Yeah.  Guess so.”  Luigi took some meditative breaths and looked over the obstacle course with freshened eyes.

              Gently, the glove lowered Luigi onto the starting line.  “On my mark, run as fast as you can,” he said.

              “That shouldn’t be hard,” mused Luigi.

              He took one last deep breath as he waited, and then…

              GO!

              Luigi took off as if he was being chased by a ghost.  Despite his slower running speed, he was overall more athletic than Mario.  His longer legs pumped as he evaded bumpers, leaped over Polygons and carefully dropped down from level to level.  It was like playing the Donkey Kong arcade in reverse—instead of going from bottom to top, the objective was to go from top to bottom.  He kept his mind nice and narrowed— _don’t be distracted by all those lights and how dark it is.  If a Polygon attacks you, keep the fight short.  Try not to engage them at all.  Slide under the Bumpers if you can.  Keep running.  Keep moving.  You can get your breath back at the end._

              On the last level, with ten seconds left, he found himself confronted by some aggressive Polygons.

              10…9…

              Luigi hurled fireballs without dropping pace.

              8…7…

              Some of the Polygons leapt aside, startled by the unexpected charge.

              6…5…

              But then they closed back in, knocking him back slightly with painful blows.  He could hear the glove counting down from five, regrouped himself and injected the last bit of speed he had into the race.

              4…3…

              There was the finish up ahead.  Just one last Polygon and…

              2…1.

              Luigi flopped onto his stomach and slid his way to the finish line with a fraction of a second to spare.

              COMPLETE!

              “I say, that was one way to finish a race,” chuckled the glove as he gave Luigi some water.  “But are you ready to take on an entire horde?”

              “Horde here meaning…?”

              “Thirty fighters.”

              Luigi released a whistling breath.  “Let’s do it.”

 


	14. Vs Fighting Polygon Team

              This stage was the simplest of stages he’d been on.  One rectangular main platform, along with three smaller platforms above it.  Two of the smaller platforms were situated to the left and right, respectively, and the other was slightly lower and in the center.  The background was purple tinged with red and orange, giving it the appearance of a sunset.  Luigi had never seen this stage before.

              “What is this?” he breathed.

              “This is what I’d like to call the Duel Zone,” explained the glove.  “Otherwise known as the Battlefield.  This stage isn’t included in the main tournaments, because I wanted to make this unique and exclusive to the adventure you’re on now.  This is where you’ll face your second-hardest challenge yet.  Thirty lightweight, yet aggressive fighters.  You’ve fought Yoshis, Kirbies, a giant Donkey Kong and a metallic Mario, but let’s see how your might tests out against—the Fighting Polygon Team!”

              As the glove floated away, Polygons of all shapes and sizes began filling the Duel Zone.  These tetrahedron-shaped fighters were created in the twelve Smashers’ likenesses, with a few differences.  Their builds were sharp, pointy, spiky—everything which exuded mercilessness and intimidation.  Polygons materialized on the upper platforms and on the lower platforms, packing themselves together and crowding as many of themselves as they could around Luigi.  Thirty blank faces met a nervous, but determined face.  Thirty purple bodies blotted out any opening, leaving Luigi with nothing but a tight circle in their midst.  So tight was this circle that they could hear his heartbeat and his deep breathing, that they could see the muscles rolling up and down his neck and his jaw working, that they could feel his energy and his intensity and that they could smell sweat lingering with cologne.  A sea of purple, rippling towards him and hovering above him.  As far as his eyes could see—nothing but Polygons.

              Breathing in measured beats, Luigi raised his fists, defiant blue eyes cutting deep into those cold faces.  He spoke to them with those eyes, held his ground with those eyes and lit up the Duel Zone with his eyes.  Blue irises pierced right through them.  He could feel their heat and their warmth, but he kept his dukes up and his chin high, sliding his eyes once again over the Polygons to his left, the Polygons to his right, the Polygons in front of him, the Polygons behind him and the Polygons above him.

              One big inhale for focus.

              One big exhale to chase the butterflies away.

              “Okeydokey,” he said in a voice close to a whisper.

              3…2…1…GO!

              The Polygons were a single machine of motion, all rushing him at once.  Those on the base platform quickly closed the tight circle he once had.  Those on the upper platforms leaped down on him like enraged animals.  But Luigi kept his cool with his bruising smash attacks, reminding himself that they were lightweight, and that there were items dropping down from the sky to help him when the pressure got too much.  He noticed that the Polygons rarely picked up the items, but their bodies physically blocked his attempts to get to them.  Luigi simply glared at them and hammered away with strong fists and quick feet.  The work boots he wore were grade A and didn’t play with their sturdy soles or hard heels.  Polygons were soon tumbling off the stage and into oblivion, only to have their ranks quickly filled.  Luigi fought his way up to a top platform and began spinning around with his Cyclone, knocking away two to three Polygons at a time.  But soon, one of them saw was he was doing, intercepted him, and sent him reeling into the sea of Polygons on the base platform.

              They pounced on him then, but he pounced right back, still smashing his way through this challenge and throwing those who caused him the most hassle.  He was sorely tempted to use his up-B, but due to its slight ending lag and the criteria to get his opponents within range of the sweetspot, it would not favor him in this situation.  So, he employed his powerful grabbing and throwing skills, instead.  His back throw, especially if executed near the edge of the stage, was a handy tool at scattering these Polygons every which way.

              As Luigi continued to pound and be pounded, he took notice of the open spaces emerging between Polygons.  He was almost there.  He’d almost defeated them all.  There was this frenetic dance-style music playing over their fight.  His blood boiled, and he started shouting, louder and louder.  He smiled as the Polygons scuttled backwards at his advance.  They continued to attack from all directions, but it was more defensive than offensive.  He shouted even more—he hollered.  His voice bounced and jumped all over the Duel Zone as he fought on.  He dropped low and executed a powerful sweep attack.  He reared back and headbutted Polygons.  He sent enlarged fists straight into his foes’ expressionless faces.  He threw Pokèballs, battered with Hammers and replenished himself with juicy, yummy Maxim tomatoes and those delightful Heart Containers.  He felt encouraged by the increasing amount of empty spaces between the Polygon fighters.  He couldn’t give up now.

              Dares spewing from his lips, Luigi danced about the thinning crowd, hopping up on platforms, throwing fireballs, doing aerial attacks and launching them away diagonally.  Their ranks started with thirty, but now there were only ten left.  Ten fighters.  They couldn’t crowd him out now, but at least they tried.  Luigi took the liberty of catching his breath and assessing any injuries he had.  He became conscious of throbbing and stickiness, but those ten were starting to encircle him.  He flashed them a quick, curious smile before slamming a powerful punch into the one closest to him.

              The remaining nine dove for him, but Luigi didn’t stand still for a moment.  His fists flew furiously as confidence surged through his bloodstream.  He savored the breathing room he now had, executing a few Super Jump Punches on several of the Polygons left.  Nine soon dwindled to three, and three dwindled to one, and—

              This one greatly resembled him.

              Luigi smiled.  The two now had the Duel Zone to themselves.  He strode toward the Polygon and grasped his extended hand for a handshake.

              The lone Polygon was extremely aggressive, mainly out of desperation.  But Luigi more than matched that aggression.  He didn’t stop with his blows, twirling kicks, drill kicks, sweep kicks, “sissy fists” or any of his other attacks, and neither did his opponent, until both were at over 200% damage.  The Polygon was the first to lunge forward for a finishing blow, but Luigi dodged, feeling a slight wind blow past his face.  In tandem with his exhale, he pivoted his body and—POW!  He dealt a devastating blow to the Polygon’s side, knocking him off the stage and beyond the blast line.

              GAME SET!

              Luigi dropped to his knees, regrouping himself from that high-octane battle.  He closed his eyes.  When he opened them, he was back in the waiting area.  Only this time, the glove wasn’t there to greet him.

              “Hello?” he called.

              No answer.

              His attention was drawn to a nearby table, where a tall glass filled with a thick concoction, a piece of paper, a change of clothes, a bottle of body wash and a towel sat.  He walked over to the table, picked up the piece of paper, and read:

**Drink this.**

**Take a shower and change into these clothes.**

**I’ll be waiting.**

              Luigi picked up the glass and smiled as the familiar aroma hit his nostrils.  He could use a Shroom Shake right about now.  It tasted heavenly.  After he sucked down the beverage, he examined the fresh pair of clothes.  Navy blue overalls, green shirt.  Then, he grabbed up the body wash, flipped up the cap and took a sniff.  Cucumbers and melons, with a touch of vanilla bean.  He took the towel and body wash and headed for the showers.

              A nice, soft sponge waited for him there, along with the shower head adjusted to his liking.  Luigi threw off his clothes, stepped into the shower and turned on the water.  It was already warm.  He squeezed the body wash onto the wet sponge, got it all nice and soapy and lathered himself up.  When he showered, he tended to wash more than once, like a cycle on the washing machine.  He cleansed away the stink and the stress and the doubt and the apprehension, breathing in the smell of the body wash and massaging himself with the sponge using deep, circular motions.  Once he was nice and soapy and rejuvenated, he turned down the water temperature and rinsed himself off, letting it pour all over him like a rainstorm.  He liked to close his eyes during this part as the cold further detoxified him.  Suddenly, he opened them and noticed a bottle of shampoo sitting on the soap dish.  It smelled like caramel.  He squirted some into his palm and worked it into his brown locks and his scalp.  Then, he let the cold spray trickle through his hair, eyes closed once more, wondering where the glove was and why he was being pampered so.  When he felt totally refreshed, he shut off the water, wrapped the towel around himself and exited the shower.

              He gently dried himself off, combed and brushed his hair and changed into his clothes.  Then, he pulled his trusty green cap out of the pocket of his overalls and settled it snugly onto his head.  A spray of cologne to the back of his neck, and he was done.

              Luigi walked back into the waiting area, which was still empty.  Didn’t the glove say that he was going to meet him once he was finished?

              “Hello, Luigi,” the glove’s voice boomed from all around him.  “I appreciate that you followed my instructions.”

              “Wh—where are you?” Luigi demanded, whipping his head this way and that.

              “I’m everywhere, L.  You should know that,” replied the voice.  “You have faced ten difficult battles, and in all of them, you’ve shown me admirable courage, determination and fortitude.  You’ve proven yourself worth of as many accolades as your brother.  However, one last foe remains—the most ruthless foe you’ll ever encounter in your lifetime.  Defeat him, and your quest will be over.”

              “Who is this mysterious opponent?” asked Luigi.

              The voice chuckled.  “You’ll see.”

              And with that, Luigi was teleported away…

 

                 


	15. Final Stage!

              “Mamma mia…” said Luigi.

              He looked around.  He seemed to be deep in outer space or something.  The stage he stood on was octagonal, with markings and patterns all over it.  White stars streaked in diagonal patterns all around.  And an eerie silence permeated the place.

              “Where am I?” he demanded.  “What the heck is this place?”

              The silence was broken by a deep, resounding laugh.  Luigi’s head instantly snapped in the direction of the laugh, every fiber in his body standing stark still.  That laugh was one of the most menacing laughs he’d ever heard in his entire life.

              “Show yourself!” he commanded.

              “I’m already here, Luigi.”

              On those words, the giant glove floated ominously towards him, the brave fighter who’d decided to take on his single-player challenge.  He was going to go as hard as he could against this one, just as he did with the other eleven.  This man in green had shown him many talents and unbelievable grace so far.  Quite a worthy opponent, indeed.

              “ _Mio Dio_ ,” breathed Luigi.  “It’s you.”

              “Yes,” boomed the glove.  “I am the all-powerful Hand of Creation, the being who united twelve heroes for a friendly contest of strength, speed, brilliance, power and willpower.  All of which you’ve exhibited grandly.”

              Luigi blushed.  “Not bad for the worst fighter in the whole affair,” he stated humbly.

              “However, your ultimate test lies before you.  You have five minutes and one stock life, and I have turned off the item machine.  As you can see, this stage has no gimmicks or hazards of any kind.  All you have to worry about—is whether you’ll be able to stop me!”  He let out a sinister laugh.

              Luigi’s eyes flashed.  “I have fought long and hard to get to this moment.  I took punches, kicks, headbutts, jolts of electricity, sword slashes, Blaster fire, Bombs and God knows what else.  I faced a clone, a gleaming metal brute, a merciless, hulking giant ape and even multiple opponents at once.  I have knuckled tight and dug in my heels and fingernails because I committed myself to arriving at this point.  So, don’t think for one second that I can’t stand a chance against you—Master Hand.”

              To emphasize his point, he boldly advanced toward Master Hand until he was about a millimeter away from the fingers.

              “You made a noble and wise choice to accept my ultimate challenge,” boomed Master Hand.  “Now, let’s see how well your brawn, brains and determination hold out against mine!  Brace yourself for the fight of your life, Luigi!” He laughed again.

              The laughter stopped when Luigi locked his jaw and put up his dukes, his knuckles straining against his gloves.  Master Hand had never seen that look from any of his previous opponents.  It _smelled_ like determination.  At the edges of those expressive eyes, nerves danced, but then Luigi reflected back to those eleven battles.  He faced the Hero of Time, eighteen Yoshis, the Leader of Star Fox, his own brother, the iconic electric mouse, a giant-sized King of the Jungle, eight Kirbies, the Intergalactic Bounty Hunter, a metallic Mario and thirty Polygons—and he won.  Then, he mused over those fleeting urges to turn back, those moments of self-doubt and faltering courage, and how he beat them all back.  All of his previous foes were formidable, as was the one floating before his eyes now, but he fought his hardest against the others, and he was going to fight even harder against Master Hand!

              “ _You_ brace yourself, Master Hand,” he said quietly, “because I’m going to give you my all and make sure you remember this moment.”

              “So be it.”

              There was no countdown.  There was no shout of “GO!”  There was only the intense, synth-pop music and the stars and the occasional swirling ambience.

              Though Luigi’s blood was pumping like crazy, he dared not make a blind rush at Master Hand.  This enemy was no one to underestimate, and this was confirmed seconds later when he made a fist and charged at Luigi.  The plumber rolled aside, legs propelling him high in the air, and executed a quick downwards corkscrew kick.  His heart jumped when he saw the glove flinch, and he punctuated his attack with two big-fisted punches and some fireballs.  Master Hand recovered and swatted at Luigi once—twice—three times, until he flipped himself back up from the ledge with a powerful kick and followed up with a Cyclone.  Out of the blue, something hard crashed onto him—it was Master Hand, trying to flatten him!  The attack sent Luigi spiraling upwards, Master Hand following him and then drilling him painfully against the stage with his fingers.  Luigi shook off the pain, did a swift leg sweep and hopped up, still bursting with energy.  More fireballs issued from his gloved fingers, and then he moved back in to land some tilts and smashes.  His eyes seared across Master Hand, from the edges of his wrist to his wide palm, to his knuckles and his carpals and finally his fingertips.  He noticed several of those fingertips glittering and wasted no time looking around, anticipating and evading the fiery projectiles shot at him.  Seconds after Master Hand finished the attack, Luigi dashed back into the fray, spinning into him four times with a Cyclone, headbutting him, rocketing aerial kicks into him, punching him furiously and adding to the damage with fireballs and hooks.  He positioned himself right in the center of Master’s palm and let the brunt of his flaming epinephrine explode into a Super Jump Punch.  Master Hand was smoldering and reeling!

              The plumber licked his lips and continued to go at his fearsome foe.  His forward smash cannoned into Master’s carpals, wrist and fingers.  His Cyclone battered him everywhere.  His kicks had so much thrust to them.  He bicycle-kicked him upwards and then twirl-kicked him back down.  He also twirl-kicked him forward.  He rolled and shielded as he anticipated the glove’s very powerful attacks.  Master could slam his fist down on him from above, viciously poke him with his index finger, swipe him back and forth, “kick” him around with his index and middle fingers, blast into the air (the flames coming out of the wrist did lots of damage) and then drill him against the hard, unforgiving floor and also do one quick swipe over the stage.  He could sneak-attack Luigi by flying at him from the background, or he could have his punching and kicking attacks have electrical or fiery effects.  Luigi quickly learned not to rely so much on his shield, as all of Master’s moves had the power to break it.  He used his reflexes instead, rolling or dodging, or simply attacked first, slipping behind the wrist to knock those Finger Bullets off course or stunning him with more Super Jump Punches and up tilts.  He was being true to his word and giving him everything he had left!

              Even so, Master was still going strong, and time was fast escaping.  Luigi could feel his breath pounding against his chest and throat.  His pulse beat against his ears.  Both of his eyes were swollen, one almost shut, and he couldn’t breathe through his nose without wincing.  Both sides of his jaw had ballooned up, and pain pulsed all over his body.  Little bits of his skin peeled from the fiery attacks he’d taken, but the burns were not serious.  His fists and feet ached slightly from attacking, but his blows didn’t cease for even a microsecond.  Fierce joy threatened to overtake him when he saw the bruising and bleeding through Master’s glove.  Just a few more good ones, and he’d be staggering!

              Then, he took in the warm pulses of blood from his nose and mouth and the perspiration covering the rest of his body.  He had to be careful.  He had only one shot, and he was at a dangerously high percentage.  _Bait him_ , he thought, slowing his breaths slightly, green fire lighting up in one fist and blue eyes continuing to slice Master Hand to the bone.  He let a controlled barrage of fireballs fly, dancing left, dancing right, tricking his foe into thinking he was retreating, faltering, giving up, defending himself only for the sake of form.  The giant glove bought it hook, line and sinker and moved in to finish him off.

              Master Hand was met with a blistering punch which made his vision go in and out of focus for a few seconds.  Luigi lunged at him again and again, eyes fierce, shouting mightily, unbreakable and determined.  He was operating fully on Smash attacks and special moves.  He was a sitting duck whenever he was in the air.  One minute, he could be spinning rapidly like a top, and the next, he could be doing a forward smash or an up smash.  He’d end a mighty pounding session with an up-B.  He observed Master with keener eyes, trying to evade his attacks outright or suffer just a glancing blow.  Still, that glove managed to trip him up and go back on the offensive for a spell.  Yet he knew that with this man in green, Master Hand surely met his match.  The decisive final battle took on a ferocity of its own, Master Hand’s godlike might and force winning one moment, and Luigi’s strategy, powerful attacks, defiance and passion taking over the next.

              Fifty seconds left on the clock.  Luigi calmly picked himself up from the floor after taking a brutal offensive streak from Master Hand.  The glove himself had 8 HP remaining.  One more strong hit, and the battle would be won!  Through hazy eyesight, Master admiringly studied his challenger, bleeding and sweating and hurting but still standing firm and tall.  His eyes were clearer than Lake Tahoe on a sunny day, locking the pain away.  His cap gave his appearance a perky touch, sitting on his head at the perfect angle, the hair underneath it now moist ringlets plastered against his forehead.  And on that cap was his signature “L”, not a mark of shame but a symbol of his individuality.  Underneath his shirt, slight muscles bulged, and via rolled-up sleeves, Master Hand saw how tanned and toned his arms were.  Chest heaving, head pounding, fists and mouth clenched, Luigi faced his ultimate opponent, blazing and beautiful, giving him a look which packed more of a punch than any of his attacks combined.

              Forty-five seconds remaining.  With steady steps, Luigi walked toward Master Hand, feeling all of his soul and his spirit flow into his tightly clenched fists.  He winced slightly, but his shoulders were pushed back, his pace was resolute and he seemed to be enveloped in this _light_ …

              Forty seconds.  Luigi now cornered Master Hand at the edge of the stage.  Once again, he raised his fists to his face, humble triumph beginning to color him.  A final, meaningful look passed between the two combatants, where Master Hand finally gained a window into his green-clad challenger’s mind.

              Thirty seconds.  Eyes closed, the man in green took in a breath and gently let it out.  He felt the drip-drop of sweat and an overwhelming sense of impending accomplishment.

              And then he spoke.

“ _Oggi sono sopravvissuto_.”

              In two solemn motions, Luigi blasted two furious punches into Master Hand.  The glove screamed and writhed, flying spasmodically into the background.

              Then, everything went white.

 

              Luigi found himself not in the Waiting Area, but inside Master Hand’s spacious office.  The Hand sat in the big chair at his desk, bandaged but in a jovial mood.

              “Congratulations, Luigi,” he said.  “You have successfully cleared 1P Mode.”

              “Thank you,” Luigi stated humbly.  “I know it was something extremely difficult to accomplish.”

              “It was your hard work and tenacity which brought you from your first match against Link to your final match against me,” said Master Hand.  “No matter what else happens in your life, I hope you will remember this.”

              “Yes, Master Hand.”

              “And one more thing,” said the glove.  “They’ve said you’re the worst fighter.  They’ve called you ‘the last-place loser’.  They never thought you had a chance.  But now, they’ll think differently—because today, you proved them all wrong.”

              “I knew I could,” Luigi said in a quivering voice.  “I knew I could.”

              Master Hand withdrew a camera.  “Now, could you stand against that wall, please?”

 

              Half an hour later, as Luigi slept off his adventure in his room, Master Hand tacked up a new piece of paper on the Smash bulletin board, deliberately covering the bottom half of the tier list with it.  When he was finished, he stepped back and smiled.

              “Thing of beauty,” he said.

              It was a picture of Luigi, that mustachioed man in green with a can-do attitude, the overshadowed and timid Mario Brother finally coming into his own.  He stood straight and tall against a simple white background, looking energetic and tanned and happy and accomplished.  A little proud, maybe, but never arrogant.  That just wasn’t the way he was.  And the eyes, cerulian blue, like a storm beginning to clear, confidence and persistence riddled into one.  Master Hand had never seen any of his fighters look so determined while posing for a photo.

              Below the picture was the following:

              _Although he’s often hidden in his older brother Mario’s shadow, Luigi is very popular.  Taller than Mario, Luigi also jumps higher.  Although he didn’t appear in_ Super Mario 64 _, in_ Mario Kart 64 _he performed to the best of his ability.  For one who seems always to be in the background, he has many fans eagerly awaiting his appearance._

               

             

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation: Today I have survived.


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for a surprise at the end!

              “Oh, my gosh!  Is that really Luigi?”

              “Whoa!  Look at him, taking on Master Hand!”

              “Yeah!  Green man is really strong!”

              “Yoshi!”

              “Puff!  This is one of the most inspirational things I’ve ever seen!”

              “Bottom tier my derriere!”

              “Pika!”

              “I knew you could do it, L!”

              “Luigi is number one!  Yes!”

              “Poyo!”

              “Yep, that’s _mio fratellino_!  _Bravissimo_ , Luigi!”

              They all crowded around the new piece of paper, gushing, the tier list all but forgotten.  Mario, DK, Link, Samus, Yoshi, Kirby, Fox and Pikachu had to repeat the news in order to fully process it as true.  Luigi had won a grueling battle against Master Hand!  Aside from those eight, three more fighters expressed happiness for the man in green.  The psychic boy from Onett.  The Balloon-type Pokémon.  The F-Zero racer and bounty hunter, the same one who mocked him that afternoon.  He kept pressing Luigi for details, but the plumber was tight lipped, choosing to wait until a later time to relate the whole story.

              “Guess a lot of people underestimated you,” said Douglas Jay Falcon.

              “I was hoping when you’d figure that out,” Luigi said a bit pointedly.

              Falcon laughed nervously.  “You know I didn’t mean what I said, right?”

              “Yes.  You were drunk, and you let your high ranking get to your head,” Luigi told him.

              “Wow, after all of this, you deserve a nice, long nap,” warbled Jigglypuff.

              “I just had one,” smiled Luigi.

              “Did you really win against Master Hand?  He’s a tough opponent!” interjected young Ness.

              “Hey, once you put your mind to something, you’re likely to do it,” counseled Luigi.

              Then, Fox turned to face Luigi.

              “Some of us used to take you at face value, based on—you know,” he said solemnly, “but we never will again.  Cross our hearts.”

              Luigi looked him straight in the eyes.  “I’m going to hold you to that,” he warned, his tone dead serious.

              “Wait a minute!  What are we all getting serious for?” crowed Mario.  “Let’s have three cheers for my wonderful baby bro!”

              The red-capped hero then hoisted Luigi onto his shoulders.

              “Hip-hip…” shouted Mario.

              “Hooray!” joined in everyone else.

              “Hip-hip!”

              “Hooray!”

              “Hip-hip!”

              “Hooray!”

              “This calls for a celebration!” intoned Link.

              Everyone agreed, and off they went to the lounge.

              “Poyo!!” squealed Kirby as he led the way.

 

              In an undisclosed location, Master Hand greeted a man dressed in a suit.  “Hello, sir,” he greeted.

              “Master Hand,” said the man.  “It’s nice to see you.  You look wonderful.”

              “You, too,” replied Master.

              “So,” said the man.  “What’s on your mind?”

              “I think it’s time we stop underestimating Luigi,” said Master, getting right down to business.

              “I concur,” said the man.

              “I have a video recording of a one-on-one duel between us,” Master went on.  “I’d like for you to take a look and see what I’m talking about.”

              The man was silent as he watched the videocassette.

              “Hmm,” he said finally.  “Luigi’s skills in battle are not to be looked down upon.”

              “And yet they have been,” sighed Master Hand.  “Now, here’s my proposal.  I think that after all of these years, a little—reparation—is in order.”

              “Reparation, or reward?” questioned the man.

              “Luigi scored tons of G, along with the Bonus Points he accumulated during his trek through 1P Mode,” said Master.  “The victor’s purse has made him—quite rich.  But I think we should add another reward to that.”

              “Ah, let me guess—you want an article about him in that Nintendo Power magazine?”

              “Better,” winked Master.  “A free mansion.”

              The man raised an eyebrow skeptically.  “Free mansion?”

              “‘Free’ meaning that he doesn’t have to pay any G for it,” clarified the Hand.  “However, he’s going to have to do some work for it.  That’s where _you_ come in.”

              “Ah, I see.  All you’re asking is for him to star in his very own game!”

              “Exactly.  Make Luigi the hero, and the setting this wonderful mansion.  But I don’t want a lather, rinse and repeat of ‘rescue the Princess from the turtle’.  Let’s make the plot something new, something— _Luigi_.”

              “Who is the one person Luigi loves more than anyone else?” asked the man.

              “Mario, his big brother,” Master said instantly, “and instead of any old mansion—let’s put him in a haunted mansion.”  He was starting to get excited.

              “Luigi doesn’t like ghosts very much,” murmured the man.

              “That’s just the point!  What I saw that day was courage in a nutshell.  If he can overcome his fear of me, then can’t he overcome his phasmophobia?”

              A lightbulb went off in the man’s head.  “I’ve got it!” he cried.  “We’ll put him in a game in which he must venture through a haunted mansion to rescue his trapped brother!”

              “And not just from any spook,” added Master.  “Let’s have the final boss be the most terrifying spook of all—the King of all Boos.”

              “Of course, Luigi will need a weapon to keep all of this at arm’s length,” said the man.

              “I’m drawing inspiration from that 80s comedy about ghosts,” mused Master.

              “A proton pack?”

              “I’m leaning towards a vacuum cleaner.  A vacuuming device which sucks up Boos and ghosts.  Call it—the Poltergust 3000.”

              “And Luigi won’t have to go through all of this alone, either.  Let’s give him a mentor, an elderly paranormal researcher known as Professor Elvin Gadd.”

              “E. Gadd.  I like the sound of that,” giggled Master.

              “So,” said the man.  “What exactly do you need from me?”

              “I’m talking about a business proposition,” Master said smartly.  “I help you make this Luigi game happen, and you work all of the kinks out of the second Smash tournament I’m planning to hold two years from now, which includes fixing all of the problems which hinder Luigi in _this_ one.  That’s the deal, and it’s not subject to negotiation.  Understood?”

              “Sure,” said the man.  “It’s a deal.”

              The duo shook hands, thus laying the groundwork for Luigi’s first-ever starring role in a video game…

**End**

**Author's Note:**

> Translation: I'm ready.


End file.
